Cola's territory since 15th July 2009 growl menacingly

2010-08-28T04:39:00.001-07:00

My Mumma just laughed at me because I did a very stupid thing. I jumped up on the piano bench recklessly and then, I didn't dare to jump down so I was cooped up there for aaaaaaggeeess waiting for someone to rescue me! & nobody came to my rescue because they thought I jumped up there to enjoy the view. WHAT VIEW! Floor tiles, random school bag, sweet wrapper, squeaky cookie monster toy... very nice to see meh! My Mumma finally came to my rescue though, after me whining for 30 minutes and me threatening to scratch the piano bench with my long ~~talons~~, i mean claws.

Tin-Tin went back two weeks ago, which means ~~the house~~ my territory is in HUGE chaos! I'm getting fed dog food... can you believe it?! I haven't eaten those disgusting tasteless junk since I was a little pup. Back then, i had NO IDEA human food was so much nicer than doggie food -insert heart here-. Now my Mumma's strategy is to just leave doggie food there and if i want to be picky, i'll just have to starve. Such a meanie right! :(

/edit
Stop thinking i'm a spoilt pup, I just happen to know there are better options in life.

2010-06-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

My Mumma's friend, Shilee Boomz wants to be my second god-mummy. Whee-oh-wheet! This proves that as a young pup of 3 years old (Not really young but just nod your head in agreement please), I have reached my ultimate maximum level of charisma and I is radiating with manliness now! *flexes muscles*

ANDDDDDDD, her friend's friend didn't know what 'tsk' was when my Mumma tsk-ed at him! Horror of horrors! HOW CAN ANYONE NOT KNOW WHAT IS TSK?! It is such a common part of our everyday life!

When someone steps on your foot, you go "Tsk!"
When you see some eyecatching headlines about something beyond the Valley of Evilness, you go "Tsk!"
When you see humans attempting to catch a cockroach with their hopelessly slow reflexes, you go "Tsk!"
When you see someone....

OMG MUMMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY FOOD! NOOOOO, DONT THROW IT AWAY!!!

TSK TSK TSK TSK TSKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! TSKKKKKK! COME BACKKKKKKK!

Mumma: Tsk, shame.

2010-05-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

I've been enjoying life so much and i've been too lazy to update! Appendix A consists of a free voucher to Cola's Butt-Smack. Feel free to smack my butt for being such an lazy ass kkzxz.

*cough and clears throat*
I'm here to share an interesting discovery with you human beans.

How Humans Attempt To Catch A Cockroach
Now, for us doggie woofies, it's simply too easy to attempt to catch a cockroach! Our superb sense of smell and agility (The same cannot be said for my Mumma who hasn't exercised since Sec 4 Napfa) allows us to easily....

Mumma: Quit bragging, skip to the main point.

Anyway, yes, fine. My Mumma snuck out of bed to find a late-night snack because she was too hungryyyyyy and to her utmost shock and horror, she found...

*drumroll*
A COCKROACH DRINKING FROM MY WATER BOWL

My Mumma was utterly dumbfounded and after the initial shock, she armed herself with necessary equipments and prepared to go for war. According to Mumma,

"I specially put water out here, risk getting dengue mozzies to lay eggs in it (okay exaggeration), waste so much time and effort to constantly change the water and here, we have a stinking cockroach drinking water meant for my baby?!"

She further supports it with her theory that now it may be one cockroach and doesn't consume much water, but if one cockroach brings a friend, and two cockroaches bring two friends, and four cockroaches bring four friends, half my water'll be gone and there's NO point in putting water out for me anymore because i wont' get to drink it. And instead, this stinking ugly brown things with feelers will be drinking alllllll my water!

I totally get her point. *nodds*
So, as i was saying, my Mumma equipped herself with necessary equipments for war e.g. Plastic Bag, Baygon, and newspaper.

Mumma's amateur Way Of Killing A Cockroach
1. Crept up to the water bowl where cockroach is innocently getting a drink
2. *evil smirk appears on Mumma's face*
3. Reaches over with plastic bag....
4. "shit! come back! Chicken mcnugget, you die manzx. "
5. Mumma chases cockroach all over the kitchen.
6. In desperation, sprays baygon everywhere and finally...
7. Cockroach dies. *fanfare please*
8. Mumma uses newspaper to prod cockroach into plastic bag
9. Ties it firmlyyyyyy
10. Throws it out of the window!

There! Sigh, sigh. She should totally have left it to me. If i wasn't dreaming about barbecued chicken and prata, i would gladly have come to her rescue. And i dont even need any weapons. All i need is my paw.

Cola's Expert Guide To Killing A Cockroach
1. Locate the culprit.
2. reach over with a paw
3. Smack!
4. Cockroach dies.

*yawn* I'm an expert. What can i say?

2010-04-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

My Mumma called Siva and asked him to pick me up and cut my hair.
So i look like this now!

Mumma says she prefers me with my old haircut but i still look handsome so she don't mind keeping this hairstyle! The day after i cut my hair, i jumped on her chair in excitement when she was sitting on the floor and she randomly remarked "Omg, since when did you have chest hair?!" Excusez-moi, i always had chest hair! I'm a 3-year-old Schnauzer! Of course i have chest hair!

It's nice to know my Mumma never paid as much attention to me before. :( She didn't even.. *sniff* know i grew chest hair! So much for accompanying me throughout my childhood and till i grow up! She has, mis-looked this great detail... CHEST HAIR! I should bring her to Family Court and fight this case till the end! *angrily wipes away a eyeful of tears*

2010-03-08T08:16:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't it be nice if the world's Cadbury?
Driving in a car would be a tasty treat
Change of gears would soon become a problem,
Cadbury Dairy Milk is so good to eat!
When you arrive at your destination
you'll be greeted with an exclamation~
Wouldn't it be nice!

Too bad, dogs can't eat chocolate. :( Mumma's been singing this song on-and-off for the past few days when she's using the computer. Can someone please tell her that the computer screen is highly fragile and will crack if she continues to croon to it? Also, please tell her not to sing in front of the mirror.. If it cracks, i can't swish my butt pass it and admire my handsome self anymore :(

2010-02-28T08:52:00.000-08:00

Okeh, this is C speaking. J said she's so surprised that this blog's still updated and she thought it would be rotting by now and i agree with her that a lot of people probably think i'm an idiot and retarded for doing this sorta thing but i'm going to kinda explain it a bit. Cola's one of the most important in my life and the thought that he will die about 10 years later can make me tear already. I know i'm over-emotional and as Julaina says, "People come and go. It's part and parcel of life. " I just can't bear the thought that ten years down the road, all i'm left of him is just photos. I want a constant reminder of how he was like, how his behaviour was and all his quirky acts that make me laugh and brighten up my day. You see this a lot when people graduate from schools. Everyone says "Keep in touch!" and "Let's meet up someday!", but who actually does this? When Cola really dies one day, i think it'll really take me quite some time to get over it and after that, i won't miss him so much anymore as i need to move on with life. This blog serves as a reminder that a long time ago, there was a obese pup called Cola that loved roti prata, barbequed chicken, cheese and all other expensive foodies and he was once a very important part of my life :) and still is, dated 01/03/2010

2010-02-13T07:41:00.000-08:00

My mumma thinks my personality is like a girl's. Because i can claim attention and 撒娇 very well. I mean, this is called making use of the situation right? If my Mumma's resolve is already wavering, whether or not to bring me out, of course i should just 趁热打铁 right? This is called 先下手为强 okay! :D

My Claim-Attention Expression

Mumma: COLA! THAT'S MY DORAEMON RIGHT!
Cola: Aiyah, at most i help you put in the washing machine la!

2010-02-08T09:16:00.001-08:00

Today is an extremely important day. C'mon people, look serious! Be solemn like somebody just died or something! You, are going to be witnessing one of the most shocking things in history.
I, Cola Leong, have renounced my love for roti prata.

There, i said it. Unbelievable?
Y'see, I must have been born with a stuck nose for two years of my life because i'm turning three (yes, three, glorious three) this month and I only recently smelled the delicious-ness of something called 肉干. I've only tried the cheeken one, thanks to being born in a Halal family, but i can tell you proudly now that i'm officially in love with it. Dont pray pray, one month anniversary coming soon! *looks proud and chest puffs out*

As you probably know, my Grandmumma is vegetarian. And for once in my entire doggie life, i agree with my Mumma that it's so sad not to be able to eat meat because.. HOW CAN ANYONE RESIST BARBEQUED CHEEKEN? It's ten gazillion times better than eating a drumstick because you dont have to throw away the bone. You just sniff it, take a slice, and nom-nom-nom, and the whole thing does down your throat like water flushing down the toilet bowl! My mumma complains that I'm using such a disgusting analogy for something as sacred as 肉干 but it's visual communication! Everyone will be able to imagine the delicious, succulent, cheeken being digested by amino acids (I told you i'm intellectual :) ) after i use that example. My mumma should groom me and let me be one of the best assets of the Advertising Industry.

Anyone willing to hire me? I'm a hard worker and my only terms are a ten-hour-long-lunchbreak, as well as pay me my salary in barbequed chicken. Not very demanding right? My number is 9xxxxxxx. Call me!

2010-01-27T09:59:00.000-08:00

Grandmumma: Eh, you know ah. Cola very smart leh. He only chooses a clean place to pee.
Mumma: Of course la. This is like basic knowledge. When you write your name on a worksheet, will you write your name on a worksheet that already has your name?
Grandmumma: Ya hor. But still very smart leh!

I is so smart. Wheepee!

Grandmumma is a full-time vegetarian, and she recently makes me eat vegetarian on the 1st and 15th of the loonar month. :( That means soggy vegetables with rice and cabbage soup for two days every month!

Mumma: Don't whine. Think about all the children in africa that are starving right now!

I DONT WANT TO THINK SO FAR.... I MEAN, ERK-HEM, HAITI ALSO HAVE RIGHT?
*guilty look*
I dont really want to be a mean doggie because Santa wont bring me any treats for 2010's Christmas if i am, but it's not like we can feeddd-axe the food over to them. Just let me whine! I'm freeking eating cabbage soup for brekkie, lunchee, and dinna for two days every month! To show i'm a superior dog, let me do some math. It's 2x12=24 days a year! THAT'S ALMOST A MONTH. OH MY DOGGIE ANCESTORS!

Mumma: Okayokay, chill, buddy. I'll give you extra ham topping on the 2nd day of the lunar month. To make up for the lost meat.

Aaah, that's a lot better. That sounds like human language now. *smiles blissfully*

2009-12-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

I'm so sorry *bow* to every loyal reader that reads my blog, for being such an inactive blogger but as you all know, my Mumma went to Chai-Nah for 3 weeks, and it was utmost torture to me ! I couldn't even eat my favorite rotiprata in peace, i would look at the prata and i would hear my Mumma saying "Cola, are you sure that's yours?" then i would look all araond me and i can't see my Mumma anywhere! :(

I didn't want to whine because i'm a highly-intellectual dog that knows how to blog but during the three weeks, all i felt like doing was hide under the sofa and cry because my Mumma might have been kidnapped by other black mafia doggie societies outside and I wouldn't know because they are mean doggies and they will just chop my Mumma into pieces like a huge cucumber and they will poke poke poke her with a spear and toast her like a marshmallow till she is good to eat.
When Mumma was gone, the skies looked like someone spread grey gooey porridge all over it, but now that she's back, it's like someone's sprinkled my favorite Froot Loops all over it so there're like splashes of cah-ler in my life once more! :D

Thank my doggie god that my Mumma's back.... if not, i can't eat my roti prata peacefully if i keep thinking of her!

Mumma: Oh, so you miss me for the sake of prata?

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.............

2009-11-28T19:48:00.000-08:00

My Mumma has been disappearing! She leaves early early in the day and comes home late late in the night. For once, i thought she disappeared into the wardrobe of narnia or somethang, but apparently, Mumma's gone to a place called Work.

I've been asking her why she needs to go, but she says she's got no choice cos she's gotta do what she's gotta do to get some moolah and buy her stuff. :(

And she's going to Chaina soon. Somebody save me. Somebody drag her back here!! :(

My ex-fiancee has passed away.

2009-11-14T23:17:00.000-08:00

You see what happens when nobody believes me? I totally woofed to my Mumma that she should NOT pair my darling Beautiful with that blackie shit of a guinea pig but she paid no attention to my woofs and barks.

Beautiful died a few days ago of mees-carr-age.

Mumma says she's gone to a better world with loads of carrot trees and hunky guinea pigs everywhere. To make me feel better, she said Beautiful's house will be wallpapered with my handsome face. Honestly! Does she think i'm THREE?!

*takes a deep breath*

I know her death has been hard on all, but we shall all be very strong so that she will not feel that she has burdened us with her passing...Ooh! My pet's hungry! Okay, off to play Facebook now! Toodles!

Mumma: You certainly errr, do recover very fast.

End of cold war

2009-11-14T22:55:00.000-08:00

I've finally stopped being angry with my Mumma. And she has decided to be a forgiving soul and forgive me as her scars has faded. Still, she's still going to China and she has dropped a bomb on me saying that i may not be able to Skype with her as she refuses to install it on her laptop that has miniscule space.

Anyway, I've been to loads of shit just to get my Mumma to forgive me.
Such as...

He who barks last, barks last.

2009-11-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

I think my Mumma's angry with me. Because she placed me on her lap, forgetting that i'm no longer the slim and shapely me and that it was really uncomfortable on her lap as my butt was sliding off her thighs and then ooh, a cat came and i jumped off, forgetting for once that my nails were uncut and long and when i jumped off, my hind legs clawed my Mumma's thighs and now they're 6 long red lines on her thighs.

Oh gosh. And like that's not enough, I overheard my Mumma telling Grandmumma she's going to China in December, and it may be damn damn long, like 3 weeks! She didn't mention stuffing me in a suitcase and smuggling me there! Oh my holy mama. Is she going there because i clawed her thigh? I'm sorry i was so easily distracted by a cat but you know...uhh... my butt's kinda big and it was really uncomfortable! I mean it! :(

Please don't let my Mumma go to China! :( I'll miss her loads

PS On the other hand, she just glared at me and 'hmph-ed', swiping her long hair at me.
PPS FINE. If she wants a war, it'll be a war she gets. He who barks last barks uhm.. last.

2009-11-02T23:51:00.001-08:00

Mumma took a photo of this phrase in a book that she said she liked. It's in the book called Witches - Roald Dahl.

"My darling," she said at last. "Are you sure you don't mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?"

"I don't mind at all," I said. "It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like so long as someone loves you."

She said it made a lot of sense. And that's how they got the 情人眼里出西施, i suppose.
It's nice to know my Mumma finds that makes a lot of sense so she wont throw me away when i get all old and greying in future! :D

A victim of family violence :(

2009-11-02T03:51:00.000-08:00

Mumma says that her brains are fried and dripped in olive oil and then grilled in the oven at 600 degrees for half an hour, before left to dry via evaporation! Everybody, say WHOA! My Mumma is POWER! (Y)

She also said that if Maria Hertogh was still alive, she felt like murdering her for all the religious riots stories she has to memorise. Sheesh. Anyone agree with me that my mumma is violent? :(

2009-10-25T04:30:00.000-07:00

My Mumma told me yesterday that she's going for a battle starting tomorrow and she will come back covered in wounds and bruises and i was argoo-ing with her that she shouldn't go! :(

Mumma said her battle involves her FEW-CHUR! So, she needs to work very hard in the battle and bring glory to our family and ancestors. *lights incense* Heehee, this is called Educational Tv. I watch Mulan okay! :D
Anyway, i was always deluded to think Mumma's few-chur is me and me only but i am wrong so i shall encourage my Mumma.

Mumma: Don't forget your sister!

Hwaiting Mumma and Keeehhhleeeee!! (K)

I will always be here to offer you two a (furry) shoulder to cry on, and will cook delicious egg omelette/pratas for you two! Mumma says Kehhhleee jiejie loves omelettes but i love pratas. It's okay, we shall give in half half. I'm sure with my IQ level of 1000 i can easily come up with a recipe for pratalette >: )

PS Godmumma dont be jealous! I'm already researching how to cook spicy ricecakes! :D

2009-10-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

Grandmumma threw a most picturesque fit the other day and unplugged aawwll my mumma's computer cables! It took her (and me!) a super duper long time to figure out which one went where! And, Mumma decided that she had to unplug them again because Grandmumma would see and throw anaaather huge huge tan-drum. So she's letting me blog for five minutes before she "wipes the crime scene of aaawl evidence".

Aaawl emo-momo already D;

My mumma's childish tutor thought it would be nice to do this.

Will try to blog soon. :( Please dont abandon my blog okay! Must come often and sweep the cobwebs! :(

I've graduated. Too!

2009-10-03T02:56:00.000-07:00

Mumma's sick. And while she's all ha-choo-ey, i'm going to sneakily blog.
Anyway, yesterday was Mumma's school graduation! I'm so proud of her. And me also! I was with her through all 2 years of her upper secondary life, listening to her complain about that fat Mr. Ong and dumb Mr. Chee. Now she's graduated! *blows party poppers*

In honour of her graduation, she scheduled a photoshoot for me as the Ngee Ann Mascot.
It was kinda hard tying the ribbon though D:

Mumma graduated from...

I've come so far since i was a baby! *looks at photo and sniffs*

They gave my Mumma some 肚兜-ish thingy that she claimed was gross.

Where gross! It's my Superdog cape!

Got a bit see-anne of it after awhile and flipped it to the front with a major neck flick. It's all coated with my saliva now. Yay me. :D

Me hate Ramadhan!

2009-09-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

Me hate Ramadhan! It's tortrous for me to walk past all the coffee shops and smell the -oh, my god, so tempting- scent wafting towards my ultra-uber sensitive nose!
It's so sad to walk past the coffeeshops and smell the otah and squid and all the kuih that Mumma just doesn't let me eat!

Mumma: Dogs cant eat human food.

Nice one mumma. I guess this doesn't apply when you want me to polish off your unwanted coleslaw, egg yolk and mc-chicken lettuce. *pouts and sulks in a corner*
I shouldn't be too sad though, Mumma says the malays that are going through Ramadhan can't eat anything for the whole day! They can't dreenk either! Oh my holy ancestral doggie gods, *does wacky prayer hand-sign*, what you mean they can't eat!? Or drink?! Thank my holy doggie god that we dont have such things, my poor tummy will go biconcave and i will suffer from malnutrition and i is going to look like a poor african kiddy that weighs less than my paw.

To protect myself from future possible malnutrition, i am going to hide my food bowl. Now!
Be back in 5 minutes.

Back!
I've hidden my food bowl and water bowl in a secret place meant for my eyes only.
Hang on, then how is Mumma going to give me my cheeken jerky treats?!
Better put it back, be back in 5 minutes.

Back!
Mmm, i can smell otah~ *nose sniffs a few times and drift along with the smell*

Post more later! A man's gotta go, where a man's gotta go.

2009-09-11T21:54:00.001-07:00

LOOK AT THIS! HOW DARE YOU STRANGERS STARE AT ME AND THINK MY MUMMA SPOILS ME?! D;

Happy Birthday GodMumma and my beloved sister! :D

2009-09-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

Today is a happy happy happy day! My godmumma's finally turning xx, and my sister's finally turning xx and i am still xx! YAY! Mumma says age is a sensitive issue, so i shall be very very very very nice and keep them prraiiiivattteeeee. :D

*angelic halo appears*

Anyway, a long long time ago, Mumma told Godmumma that i love cheese. Which explains my miniature 10-kg form, but i'm going to blog about my favorite cheese so human beans all around the world can eat my cheese and they'll be as happy as godmumma and my mumma and MEEEEE. :D

Because godmumma thinks that i should blog about my cheese, i'm dedicating this cheesy blog post to her! I think i'm spoilt because i dont eat cheesedale cheese, Mumma has trained my sensitive tongue buds to only eat cheddar and smoked cheese which is goody because i wanna be speshal not like all the other human beans outside that eat cheesedale. I AM ONE OF A KIND! ;O

It's good that i eat cheese because, *poster flys out from nowhere*, cheese is high in proteins and milk and i'm a growing boy and cheese is important for growing pups like me.

*looks at picture* oh my god, it's so orange. and cheesy! I'm off to eat cheese, yippppeeeee! :D

Thanksgeeveeng.

2009-09-07T05:03:00.000-07:00

Mumma told me UK has something called ThanksGeeveeng. I want to give thanks too! *gets down on puppy knees and kowtow* Being the most logical, and intellectual dog ever, i want to go chronologically. (I wiki-ed the most proper/right word to use here >: } )

o1. My real mother (Mums that you love are called mummies, the byeohlogical one that doesn't know you well is called Mother).

Without her, struggling and giving birth to me, i wouldn't be here with my real mummy today. So i must do what mummy calls "crediting".

o2. Thank my ex-owner (who saw me for an hour, then fell in love with a chihuahua). Thanks for not wanting me, because of that, i'm with my mumma now and i love her a lot. More than you~! *nah nah ni poo pooooo, waggles butt at you*

o3. Thank GreatGranduncle for delivering me to mumma. You're like the white birdy that delivers babies in cloth bundles!
Mumma: I think you mean stork.

I said stork! Hang on, you mean i didn't? *frowns*

o4. Thank you Mumma. Thank you for all the cheeken ham and cheese and other foods you think i like, which i do! (PS, the cheesecake you bought for yourself smelt really good, i wont mind a few crumbs)

Thank you for all the milk you poured in my water bowl instead of boring water, and the pram you bought for me to enjoy life. I dont want to be so mahterialistic and only remember the material stuff, so i want to say i love you for always giving me hugs and kisses, and taking care of me all this while.

o5. Thank you GodMumma. You have to sit in the hot air outside when we go to macdonalds because they're jealous of my saliva odour and dont let me in. I understand you're a fuzzy yellow thing with a spoilt antenna, but love bears no boundaries. *nodds head wisely*

Thank you for always carrying my pram downstairs for me, while Mumma struggles with carrying me. (It's not my fault she's so weak that she has to be tortured by a 9-kg me.) I love you forever! *sends air kisses with the famous Cola Butt Stamp*

07. Thank you Kumar, for cutting my old bear-cut hair. I looked good with it while it lasted.

o8. Thank you Mitchell, for cutting my current hair that sucks big time but i shall sympathise myself, and tell myself it's actually the most *struggles to say* unique hairstyle ever. I bet no one looks (as ugly) like me now.

o9. Thank you Mumma #2 for pissing my mumma off so she gives me your chicken wings and cheese and milk out of spite. This is called indirect love! *looks proud of myself*

10. Thank you GrandMumma and GodGrandMumma for giving birth to both my mumma and godmumma, without which, my life would not be complete. *smile most angelic and innocent smile, with a halo floating above my ears*

My birth story

2009-09-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

Mumma told me she read all those teenage mumma's blogs and they have something called a Birth Story, which she thinks she should do for me too. It'll have none of those bluudy reddish details though :(

I was supposed to go to my Mumma's Uncle's Mummy at first, but she fell in love with a chihuahua, so i came to my Mumma sometime in March. Mumma's very regretful that she never remembered the exact day i came (too happy :D), but she remembers it's March. So, my birthday is 010307.

When i came, my mumma's uncle called me 亮亮. Which my mumma hated, a lot!
Vaguely remember her saying "LIANG LIANG?! *frown*"
Mumma used to like to watch 101 Dalmations, so she wanted to call me Lucky. And my uncle said no, it's so oldfashioned. I think he's nuts, Lucky sounds a lot better than Liang Liang. What does he think i am? The moon? *rolls puppy eyes and swirls tail* After 3 hours of thinking while shopping at Pet Safari, Mumma came down to two names.
Butter VS Cola

She decided i'll be called Cola because my fur's all shiny and black. Is good! I'll never need to go to BayJeeng 102 or Nunyam Haircare. (naturally good fur comes from a good personality you know~ *battles eyelids* )

And so, the world's greatest dog was born!

real men dare to wear pink

2009-09-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

I cut my fur today. *sniffs*
The fur that grew while eating cheeken ham... snip!
the fur that grew while sleeping in the pram... snip!
the fur that grew while licking roti prata... snip!

I look fat now. *tears well up as i look at mirror*

I miss my pink cushion. It's washing now, and i miss it. Mummy tells me to be a man, and dont be so whiney all the time. *braces myself and flexes muscles*

Mummy: Real men dare to wear pink.
Me: WHERE'S MY PINK SHIRT?!

Mummy: Real men dont need to show muscles to be manly.
Me: True. *nodds and sashays butt*

/edit
K E L L Y ! drowns in grapes. says:
*later he bite you, you snip his TOOOT. :x.

HOW CAN SHE?! :( I'm her brother! SHE WANTS MY MUMMA TO.. CASTRATE ME? D;

2009-08-31T08:07:00.000-07:00

I'm a happy doggie! Yesterday, my mummy brought me to get her cahcoowater back from godmummy, and she brought me up to visit grandgodma (L). Me love her many many! She says i'm getting fat. And my first love wasn't at home. *sighs deeply*

I'm getting better already, not sneezing anymore. Mummy loves me, and that's enough. :D

/edit
I DONT LOVE MY MUMMY ALREADY. SHE SET MY MISTRESS UP WITH A... *gulp* HUSBAND?!
*sobs desperately into pillow*

Hello singlehood.

Mummy: Whine some more, i castrate you! >: )

2009-08-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

I've caught the flu bug from Beautiful. (I think)

At Mac today, Godma caught me sneezing. And she gave my mummy the raised-eyebrow look. *sneezes once more* I'm coughing my lungs out now, someone give me a hug please.

2009-08-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

They say, when you're in love, everything is black and white and the love of your life is vibrant and colourful. So true for me. *looks at Beautiful adoringly*

Mummy: That's puppycock.

Sure it is. I'm a puppy, ain't i?
*goes off singing I Can't Smile Without You~~*

If you only you~ know what i'm going through~ I just can't smileeee without you!
Mwah mwah! (K)

Mummy has been playing Pet Society so often now even though she's banned that i'm ANGRY! She rather train a pet rabbit inside to jump over hurdles, than play with me?! I'm furry! I'm black! I'm not an albeeno like that disgusting piece of shit inside! *growls*

Rain rain go away. D;

2009-08-23T03:24:00.000-07:00

I want it to stop raining, so mummy can bring me out! Haven't been out in..*counts on paws* AGES! My recreational life is limited to just.. the guinea pigs and ocasional drumstick treats from mummy. She. Is. So. Mean! She said she cant bring me out because even in the pram, i might fall sick. Which means, going to the doctor. Which means, $200<

*starts singing Rain Rain Go Away*
If the rain stops, like NOW, i'll be a good boy! Soompa! Cross my furry heart. <3
Mummy says to think on the bright side, so i shall rejoice that kitties with slow body coordiation all over Singapore are getting drenched! >: )

To get back at Mummy #2 for eating my KFC Cheeken Wing yesterday, i stole her Barney bolster! It's under the sofa now. Hehehe.

PS Mummy found it and shaked her head at me.

Hairdryer-phobia

2009-08-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

I've got a phobia of hairdryers. That thing is so scary! It is an L-shaped and emitts hot air! If Mummy blows me with it, will i fly up and away like a hot air balloon? :O
I DONT WANT TO FLY UP AND AWAY, I WANT TO STAY HERE. *stamps ~~foot~~ paw and protests*

Hang on..
Does Heaven have... rotiprata? *eyes light up*

2009-08-18T04:27:00.000-07:00

Good news:
Mumma came home with a bag of chips today!
Bad news:
she says it's not for me.

Conned mumma to bring me to piano lesson yesterday. *smirk appears and spreads on face*
When she left, i started the usual trick and she couldn't stand it. It was a little amusing when she ran back and forth from the corridor back to our home, and she finally gave up and called Mees Hong, who told her she could bring me for lesson.

Mumma: The pram is SUCH an investment!

Agreed. Although $150 means 100 slices of egg rotiprata, a gigantic cheese cake, many many slices of cheeken ham, i've kindly forgiven my mummy. So there. >: )

PS
As compensation for no chips, she pushed the tall tall piano bench in front of the cage, so i can watch the Guinea Pig Channel. *prances around in joy*

谢谢你们多年来的支持!

2009-08-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

Sound so old. :O Anyway, i calculated, i'm about.. 15 years old in human age already. Catching up on Mummy soon!

Speaking of mummy, she's despicable. >: (
That day, godmummy brought us out to eat Macdonalds and Mummy claimed she bought a mccheeeken to keep me satisfied, but all she gave me was lettuce! I saw bite after bite go into her geenormous mouth and none of it went into mine! I WANT CHEEKEN! >: (

Even godmummy complained about it.

Speaking of godmummy, she wants to link me. And after she saw what i wrote for Mr. CheeWong, she wants one too! :O
To my dearest godmummy:
THANK YOU. ME LOVE YOU MANY MANY! *engulf you in hugs and kisses*
I'm so sorry about always drenching you and woofing at you and growling at you! But you always seemed to come at a time when i'm hungry!

*wag tail*
Anyway, i love yellow fuzzy things with spoilt antennas.. so i love you! (k)

2009-08-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

o1. Mummy said everyone wears red and white today. WHERE'S MINE?! *looks at stinking furcoat* Red will totally suit my charcoal fur. Anyhow, i think mummy's gone mad because it's past midnight and she's singing "where i belong" at the top of her voice.

o2. Mummy #2 came home from Boon Lay yesterday and Mummy was moping because "the quiet days are over."

o3. I've given up on the gigolo (*glares menacingly*)because i've got a new mistress now. Introducing Rikakuma! Mummy caught her from a UFO for $9! She's so cute and adorable! *pinch cheek*

GIGOLO! >: (

2009-08-02T23:12:00.001-07:00

Did i mention? Grandpa bought another guinea pig, a male this time. Black and horribly ugly. AND THAT STINKY BAOQINGTIAN DARE TO SNATCH MY GIRLFRIEND/S FROM ME! :@ WHERE'S THE JUSTICE?! I CAME FIRST!

All these months, i've been guarding over them like a little guardian angel, rushing to them whenever i hear a squeak, and trying to lick them and be friendly, AND THAT STINKY THING, DID NOTHING, AND IS STAYING WITH THEM NOW!

*quote*
Mama: 奸夫淫妇!

This should make the headlines. A dog types chinese while hurling abuses at his wives's gigolo.

2009-07-29T06:47:00.000-07:00

I'm the master of acting cute, don't try and overtake me.

Mummy says that godmama's not feeling well and her tooth hurts, so.. get well soon godmama! Mummy and I love you many many! *sends airkisses flecked with drool* Mummy brought me to meet Joycey just now, and when we walked past in the pram, this group of polytechnic students started pointing at me and exclaiming " AHH! SO CUTE! " I swear at that moment, i would have blushed if i dont hear it everyday from my mummy. :D

i kick ass.

2009-07-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

I just realised.. i have got a sister! Mommy told me she has a daughter... Geez, where is she?
*hunting in progress*

My momma and her daughter. Why doesn't my mummy take me to take pretty neoprints too?!
I look so photogenic!

HANG ON, WHO'SE THIS WOOFIE THAT IS OVERCROSSING INTO MY TERRITORY?!

WATCH ME. *does the 'i'm watching you' ~~hand~~ paw signal.

Masterpiece by the Master of Chewing.

2009-07-23T02:34:00.001-07:00

Thought it would be nice to upload this.

What does this look like? A perfectly fine laptop charger on a Breaking Dawn book?

You thought wrong.

Thought this brings my masterpiece into more definition.

It still works, I know how to set my limits!
When Mummy went to Starbucks, and tried to plug in the charger, there was this guy that helpfully tried to help her because the power point was nearer to him, and he gave my mummy this expression.

2009-07-22T04:25:00.001-07:00

Godmama came over to my house today! Godmama is the fifth most closest person to me, because the first day i arrived at my real&true home, my mama carried me to see Godmama. I remember she was complaining like crazy and decided to carry me after half the journey because as it was my virginal trip out, i thought Cars were Friends, and ran to them on the road, and my mama had to try and drag me back with her 4 2 hands.
Still don't get why we can't be friends. We both have 4 paws! *hi-20*
Can't remember much about the first meeting with Godmama because i vaguely remember lots of screaming only.

Anyway, Mama and Godmama started playing something called a 'doo-et' and they couldn't stand me drooling at Beautiful anymore, so they put me in my pram and started playing. Mama was busy teaching Godmama what notes to hit and all, and none of them bothered about me, so when they were playing until very shiokly, i jumped out of the pram, making godmama scream like mad. I THOUGHT there was an ant on my godmama's thigh, so being the kind thoughtful fellow i was, i tried to sniff it, and my godmama screamed. Sheesh, she doesn't understand how EXPENSIVE and VALUABLE my saliva is to me. * shakes head *

Mama calls Godmama 'lala' and i dont know why. Doesn't a lala look like...

That yellow fuzzy thing with a spoilt antenna?

PS My mama says doo-et is spelt 'duet'. She thinks she's right but i know she's not. After all, dinosaurs have brains the size of walnuts, and dogs have brains the size of footballs. I still think doo-et is spelled as doo-et, so i'm NOT changing it. >: (

2009-07-19T04:50:00.000-07:00

I'm so sad. Everyone's eating Tzi Char now, and they've forgotten me. I've been emo-ing beside the guinea pigs for so long, and still, nobody realises my depression.

The least I've taken revenge for the neglect. I went to scare Oreo just now, and that little black furball ran into Mummy #2's MyLittlePony dollhouse. I think it must have really liked it, because it started marking territory the usual way. It peed and poo-ed like some machine gun, and now Mummy #2's soaking the whole dollhouse in Dettol. Serves her right. See, i told you my bladder and butt are iron-strong in terms of storing excretory products.

Why is the teevee screaming "KWUM KWUM KWUM! " now? It's just an ugly, botak, broad guy in red (mummy: BULGARIAN!) robes. on a flying broomstick. Looks fun. It's okay, i have my pram! My chio, $150 pink pram that my mummy bought for me impulsively, out of love. Not talking to my mummy though, she was eating cheeken ham sandwiches yesterday and she didn't want to give me any. She was focusing her attention on positioning this doraemon on the piano. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! THAT STINKING BLUE SAUSAGE SHAPED, COTTON STUFFED THING WITH AN UGLY FACE, PWNED ME DIP DIP!

PS Too bad, i snatched it anyway. *wags tail*

2009-07-18T07:52:00.000-07:00

Whoo. Mama told me her friends read my blog and are amazed that 'i'm blogging. They expect to see many woofs and barks here, but i'm an intelligent and highly intellectual dog! I dont 'woof' like any stray dog you see in the street! *does dogwalk down the hall, sashaying my awesome butt*

I stole my mummy's roti prata again today! This one had no egg. The last one i stole had egg, with a little bit of curry on top.. *drools*... Oh well, a little bit is better than nothing. Mama was so dumb because she didnt realise i stole it.
(not my fault i have an innocent face)

mama: *go toilet and come back* WHERE'S MY ROTIPRATA?!
cola: *hide under sofa*
mama: I bet it's cola. Nono, he looks like he's.. sleeping!
cola: I finished it long before you finished shitting, doofus.
mama: He couldn't have finished it so quickly!

She only realised it when i yawned at her face and she smelled the roti prata.
Oops.

Guilt-ridden

2009-07-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

I'm here to confess about all the wrongdoings I have committed since i was a baby, a hot, cute and adorable lil pup.

Since young, since the day mummy brought me to her cheek and let me sniff her cheek, I decided that mummy is too kind for her own good, and i'm going to use it. *evil laugh*
Every time i do something 'wrong', so long as i hide under the sofa, nobody will punish me. Soompa! Everyone sees me hiding under the sofa as an act of repentance, but actually inside, i'm laughing my head off.

Today, my mummy told me she's going to watch Parry Hotter, and some prince. So she can't bring me out for a walk. But it's okay! There's Plan A to put into action!
Looky puppies, this is the secret. When your mummy closes the door, start woofing and wagging your tail. THAT IS THE SECRET TO MY SUCCESS!

mummy: bye cola, see you later! *air kiss*
me: *whimper and a slight growl in my throat* (carefully! Don't overdo it!)
mummy: don't do that, it's NOT working. *walk off*
me: *lies down on floor melancholically, and starts barking*
mummy: *run back* DON'T DO THIS TO ME!
me: *think* It so works! -.-

BUT... Plan A didn't work in the end. There must be something important about BumberBore. If not Plan A would have worked. I got so angry with my mummy, i didnt come to greet her when she came home, and she tactfully ignored me. She is SO wise. An angry dog, is a scary dog. *nodds wisely*

No worries mummy, i know you're sad because BumberBore died, but i'll eat your french fries for you! No wasting food, right? That's what you always told me! Ommm nommm nommmmm. Yummy fries! <3

PS Oh no, my mummy stupidly promised her friend that i will thank him on my blog if he links me as The Awesome Doggie. Why should i thank him when it's the truth! Now see here, mummy, you can't promise things on my behalf! >: (

*clears throat reluctantly*
Wooofffff... WOOOFFFFFFFFFF CHEEWONGGGG. (oops, it's WeeChong?)
Ahhhh.

WOOOOOFFFF... GROWL... WEE CHONG!
*wag tail*

PPS That means thank you in my language, no scolding my mummy!

150709 <3

2009-07-15T05:55:00.001-07:00

Hello people. I'm Cola. The date is 15th July, and this is the day 'i' first started blogging. This blog is created to serve as some sort of memorial after I leave this world because I dont want my mummy to be too sad. (as you all know, she's over-emotional sometimes. *wags tail*) Don't know why she'll be sad, i'll be in her heart, with her always.

My mummy brought me to meet her friend, Joyce today. Remember her as the Baking Girl because last time she came to our house, and she started baking in that funny machine on top of the table. It smelled good for a while, and became charred after that. Mummy and B.Girl brought me to Macs where they had choco. sundae and I licked the table. (clean it for them, y'know?) Anyway, B.Girl fried popcorn chicken, and gave me a piece, so she's my friend now. (:

After that, we were going home and the two human beans found a NTUC metallic trolley that they put me in and pushed me down the slope. Felt like a king till this black cat appeared 1m away from me, and I instantly wanted to get down because cats overpower trolleys anyday.

Cola's territory since 15th July 2009 *growl menacingly*